I am thrilled to announce the resumption of Saurday detentions. These can be conducted any day of the week, and involve reporting to class in full uniform for a full day or behavioural remand.

Ridgebottom Boys Secondary College is Australia’s leading institution for disciplinary reform of boys and young men. Whilst the school is co-ed there are surprisingly few women who attend detention — a testament to the superiority of the female sex.

Your detention journey at RBS starts with receiving a detention notice, emailed to you one week from your summons date. Upon arrival, there will be a uniform check and a brief interview about your misdemeanor. This is intended to inspire introspection throughout the quiet hours that are to follow, leading to your ultimate reform.

As headteacher at the school, I have many years of experience dealing with pubescent boys and understand well the distractions that blossoming into adulthood can hold for some students. Whilst I am strict, and certainly don’t spare the rod when it is needed, I also consider myself a confidant and have a particular interest in psychoanalysis which I believe makes our school the leader in behavioral reform. Whilst some professionals have criticised RBS for using psychoanalysis in this way, we believe that penetrating the psyche of vulnerable young men is the only way to incite significant behavioural change*.

Detention is held in my personal office which offers full privacy from the rest of the school. Participants can expect to spend their time writing lines, standing in the corner for introspection, and almost always receiving true punishment on either the bare bottom or the hands.

In Virga Confidimus — In Rod We Trust.

*Parents must sign a waiver upon enrollment allowing for this.